heya, i am so glad that i am finally writing something and this post is for my soul sister!

God, destiny and soul :)

i may sound a bit insane that i actually am but i do really believe in magic, destiny, and soul. i may do not really believe in a God that much or have profound knowledge of any existing god but the world does not end with this, i was and i am a really rebellious child of my very settling parents. i am not aware of how the rest of the world works but for me, i know that i am a born explorer and i deserve to see the world and find my place in it! we all are born for someplace in this world yet some of us or most of us are unable to find theirs though in my case and in case of those rare people.. they run into wild and climb up the mountains to just find out what is best for them.. here, i am introducing myself to be one of them and letting my life into the stories of those who explored the world just for the sake of finding out where they do really stand! i don't think that i believe in any god in particular because i believe in accepting all kinds of people and seeing everybody with equal kindness i do not restrain myself from being real or fake but i want to let myself be everything that i feel like. i don't want to be good or i don't want to be bad. i don't want to be too modern or too old. i want to smell deep into books and talk like an unorthodox woman. 

   Just like always, i got confused with the title and the content yet the problem is 

           i was feeling really drained and broken the very moment my soul sister called on my phone.. sometimes we cry ourselves to sleep and sometimes we just find someone to help us out. on that lucky night, she called me when i was confused and stuck... i felt as if she knew i was miserable and needed help! Her voice did the best thing ever to me.. it healed me like forever it does! i didn't tell her anything of what happened or what was going on because i don't think sharing my misery would help any of us. i am waiting for my time to come when all this actually ends and brings me a forever of fulfilled. well, just in case you think i am going to share my problem then it's not happening hehe sorry i am saving it for some other day actually.  

     

        i was thinking about escape and what i was years ago and then i looked at how lost i have been and now... i am here typing for you guys and you just read this word :P smile a little, you the reader!                        when i meet some animal just any living creature even a plant that i water gives me some energy of happiness and that it likes me which makes me feel more alive than ever! i have done a lot for humans but my life kinda sucks but when you treat some animal or plant you just feel right and foremost, it makes me believe in souls and destiny that we all are bound to stay together and look after each other! what i have today is something i need to have and what i will have tomorrow or a day after that will be my need as well but what i choose to get in my life will always be my choice, my want, and my fantasy! i very clearly know what i want out of life and what it gives me though sometimes sooner or later we question our gifts badly, that is this we wanted? or maybe they are given to test us whether we really want them or not! i have had things and people in my life which very clearly made me realize and draw the line between what i tolerate and what i shouldn't, what is right for me, and what is wrong! i had everything in life i wished for,  some of it ruined me and some made me strong yet all of them gave me knowledge which i adore the most! 

   i want to keep on knowing and reading as much as i can and even be really good and really bad but i don't want to limit myself when i should not! i am the rebel girl and let me tell you that i am the most obedient of them all! 

   umm, little secret! i am so much in love with the character of Robert Pattinson from the twilight series. i wish to have one of mine as well.  

  let's do the worst and the best but let's be together for the rest ;)

amen.