holding on to destiny?!! my life my story
Holding on to destiny!
still remember how I felt when
he left me by saying now I have mine own story.
Whenever I try to explain my problem
my pain my sorrow to others they behave like I am doing this for no reason I am
feeling bad for no reason well am I really?? Some understand the sorrow many doesn’t
they don’t even think that those who left where the main reason why I found the
one I have right now. My story can only be understood by those who themselves
lived in those moments that struggle that life to whom I no longer belong. That
one smiled crashed the worlds and that one leave me now broke the hearts!
It was like thanks for being
with me when I had no one else but now since I have found someone who may leave
and don’t forget to not get upset with it ‘cause you never had any right on me
neither you have any! So leave me for ever don’t look back I wont care for you
even for once all you need is to leave me forever! These are the unspoken words
but the ones spelled out loud meant the same!
It hurts the most when even
the one you call your besty says leave him you have no right over that guy but am
I not the one who spent so much time with him don’t I have the right to get
upset and to fight and to once nicely cry about the whole issue. They pretend
like I don’t have feelings they come use me when done leave me and say thanks
for being so nice to us and I humbly smile yet that one smile hides the whole
worlds pain deep inside nobody cares how I feel my Sammy understands ‘cause she
too lived those moments with me we two were the crazy students of class Xth C trying to
do every forbidden thing ever possible yeah from skipping classes to running in
the corridors to flying over paper planes and seeing teachers from different
corners to somehow manage to not get trapped in. every single moment we lived
together was itself magical ! Sammy been my besty since 9th grade
and smriti since 8th grade’s second semester. I met Deepak in 8th
too but I started talking to him more properly after 2nd Oct yeah
that October had a lot coming on its way☹ nothing sad and I m not regretting too but my life is
truly somewhat ruined ‘cause people hate me they think of me as I dunno may be I
shouldn’t say it well I wont ! so yeah a lot has happened by then!
Those who did every possible
thing for us now do not even ask how are we well may be they never cared for me
they cared for what they may get from me that’s what I have learnt and that’s why
I unlove you now! I have understood the whole game its not even what you may
feel it is its truly using a person to take out what you want from them. They are
right I m too easy to be played with I m too bad to be ones ☹.
Now I don’t believe in this
relationship thing I believe in my guy lets see if I could hold on to him for
ever well I will wait for him I will care for him I will always be his truly!! No
promises no barriers no deals anymore yeah that’s more important no deals when it
comes to hearts. I have done something wrong well what I did wasn’t wrong but with
whom I did wasn’t right! I m not regretting what I did its just the person I did
with wasn’t the right one!
The worst thing about my life
well before I get upset the rest of the world starts fighting with me yes its
true the right to be mad at someone is kindly not being granted to me and it
never ever been! And I never complain too! When it comes to my parents I almost
never complain about a single thing not even at once doesn’t matter how important
the issue is I just never say anything! For my friends they do sometimes play
with my feelings then also I sob a little and say its okay but deep inside that
trust that relation that bond breaks down gradually the trust that they
understand you the trust that they wont leave you the trust that they wont hurt
you. They say they will fight with me they have this right well do I ever ask
for anything from anyone well honestly I don’t ask for anything from anyone! But
they do hurt me.
Now my latest besty you are
the only person I fight with I feel like I can be the real me with you and you
will never mind it! That’s the reason why I am so insane I love hanging out
with you talking to you! You know what you are the most probably only concerned
reader I have the one who notices every small detail and thinks about what I don’t
even think of much! Thank you so much for caring about me ‘cause I feel like
nobody really does my family thinks about their reputation their life as a
whole and not my feelings and happiness to some extent I feel like a bird in a
cage sometimes I never say this but I truly feels this way ! when I talk to you
I feel real I tell you stuff I hide from others I never talk about family
issues to others but to you I just want to be me in front of you… thanks for
being there for me thanks for supporting me thanks for being in my life thanks
for being who you are and be like this for ever! With you I feel like nobody
can hurt me nobody can say anything to me ‘cause you are my most protective possessive
and caring besty! In a relationship or single doesn’t matter our bond remains
equally strong all the time! 😉
So yes people do take my
feelings for granted and yeah almost everyone hurts me but they too expect me
to smile equally!
Destiny is what I personally
call it when we block unblock friend unfriend follow unfollow after every two
weeks yet the bond remains the same we remain same no matter what really happens
this is crazy my friends say they say why still holding on I reply he is the
one and the only left in my life who cares when others disappear when I cry I need
him when I smile I want him to be the reason behind it I want to wake up with
him every morning in his arms I wanna make him a part of my life well I wont
say I wont force ‘cause being his friend at least allows me to see him every
day and talk to him !! today is valentine so that’s why I confessed my views
over my guy hanji my guy mera wala is you 😉
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